nlxx life…

you’re always on my mind
all day just all the time
you’re everything to me
brightest star to let me see

you touch me in my dreams
we kiss in every scene
i pray to be with you
through rain and shiny days

i’ll love you till i die
deep as sea wide as sky
the beauty of our love paints rainbows
everywhere we go

need you all my life
you’re my hope you’re my pride
in your arms i find my heaven
in your eyes my sea and sky
may life be our love paradise

white valentine’s day… sound so tender..sound so romance… i have started the day with my tear… and end it with my tear also.. "both of us feel suffer, dunoe what should we do" this word is came out from you… now only realize..both of us feel suffer in our relationship… but what makes us keep going? what makes us never give up?? is it our love??..or it just wana avoid trouble?? just hang up the called..you went back to ipoh adee..but you still the same… never try to call me up…why you never feel to miss me?or worry about me when you at ipoh? but why i do so? holiday…who would you like to spend with?..but not me… you just think that you need to rest…you are so tired but not because of accompany me… the love in heart..is mismatch with my need… im just need some one to care about me…

what im doing recertly??? what annoying me so much???..im so afraid about my relationship…as hard i do…as lost i have….i dunnoe how to remain the better relationship…i really lost…im wishing that i wont to get hurt..im wishing that i will never be alone…but everything i do..i feel that im wrong..im so sad about that..the time we can spend still have how much??…the thing we can do…still have how many???….the feel we having…still strong like last time??…

what is that waiting us at the next corner???…i have no confident…the different perception….is full of arguement…

baby im sorry….i really not to meant this…i know im too over…but i cant control myself….

SORRY!!!!!!

last english lesson my lecturer have give me this title to write out an essay…the person i like the most…who you think of when you saw this title??..your beloved? your parent? your friends? who else??…but unfortunely i have no idea on the title…

the person..bee?but what for i have to like him most?just because he was my boyfriend?..or other thing else?what so complicated??????….full of question marks in my mind…..

no expectation no dissappointed…just let it be…

no dissappointed no argument…..

no argument no hurt…..

i just want to be happy all the time..im just wish that you will understand what i need and bring it to me..but no more expectation again…..

Doesn’t matter whom you are with .
Doesn’t matter where you are going.
Don’t you know I’m still waiting here for you and pray for you .
In the sunny days,sun will light you day.
In the windy day, wind will leave your way.
I have to say, you’re my treasure moments.
Never gonna walk away.
In the rainy days,rain will share my tears.
In the stormy days, storms will steal my pain.
Just go your way and leave things all behind.
Spread your wings and fly away.
I’m pretending you’re mine. I’m wishing you’ll be fine.
The moments we share never die.
You’ve made a difference to my life…

and let me realize the feeling of mine deep inside….

silent night..christmas eve…where you go and celebrate? celebrate with who? that so nice..so fun…this was a happy day??..but unfortunely this is not for me..im alone..im spending a lonely christmas…silent night..today really silent in my day…no laughing but is tear….

merry~~merry christmas~~~lonely~~lonely christamas…i sent out a lot of message to wish my friend…MERRY CHRISTMAS….wish that you guys have a wonderful and forgetable christmas…

i get a called at 12am..but that not my beloved…not my ji mui…just a friend that i know few months…why is him??? but not you??…by the way im happy to get the called…thank you…

what will caused a person fall into sick?..get rain?study or play until late at night? too tired?? too stress?…every single reason…but what will we think when we fall into sick??..

do you will think of the reason why i sick? or when you will be recover? or who willing to stay beside you and take care of you?? or you just wan to be alone not wish that anyone annoying you??which type the person you are??..for me..when i get into i will wish that my darling will take care of me..bring go and see doctor ..feed me eat the medicine and sleep beside me..but unluckily he cant do that for me..at least call or message me and ask for my sick..

or in the other hand…if your lover fall into sick..what you will do??..bring your beloved go and see doctor??take care of your beloved??..keep on calling or messsage your beloved because of the wondering???…or you just ignore your beloved ??…

relationship…aih..that really complicated…dunnoe what i shall do in the situation..dunnoe what only will make it better….

the way to be happy…hmm..do you know what is it??..hehe…

sometimes im feeling sad…getting mad…dont know how to do…damn emo during that moment…sudden think that…sudden think others…haha…i do worry that i will be crazy soon..on that moment i will feel that no body beside me..im so lonely..no people willing to accompany me..but when the day i found the way to make myself to be happy…actually that was so easy….the way is a smile from anyone…who also can…the people stand infront of me…the people who sent me a joke…the baby was smile at me..just a smile…just a greeting from the sincere heart…everything will be alright…

having  a smile on our face..maybe will get to influence others to have the smile on their face as well..hehe….

cheese~~hahahaha

aih…sweet accident…it had heat me..and makes me totally lost my way…i dunnoe what i should be..what i should do….

distance…so far..so close…listen your sound but cant even hug you…everday i close my eyes and try to imagine that you are here..feel your breath..your heart beat…but when i open my eyes…there is nothing..and i feel sad again..missing is so suffer..it makes my heart pain..i really hard to breath..every step i take also very heavy…but do you understand my feeling??do you know??…

a call..a message will let me feel better..that was a medicine for me to treat my missing ill…but …. that just a annoying for you..that was a stress…izzit??….too much will makes trouble…but is that really too much???…confusing…

moody…T.T

5th dec 2005..the last day of my spm…wow..time past really fast..haha..2 years ago…haih….

5th dec 2007..i have nothing to do today..lying on the bed and thlnking bout my secondary sch0ol life..hehe..feel so enjoy of that time..busy on activity..busy on my tuition..my time is fully spent..but now..i really nothing to do..2 month of the holiday..i just stay in home never do anything..day dream all the day…hehe…

nothing gonna be replace…